Barbie

Combined Rating: 6.45 (Peter 6.6, Dad 6.3)
Combined Best Picture Ranking: #10 (Peter 10, Dad 10)

Peter: The sensation of the summer (or at least one half of it) and also the weakest film in this line-up. It’s impressive that this perfectly serviceable film ranks at #10, as many years the bottom spot(s) will go to a film that’s downright awful. Last year, I only saw half the nominees but one of the few I did see was Elvis. Traumatic experience. Thankfully, there’s no Elvis this year. There is a Barbie and it’s alright. 

Dad: Yes, Elvis was a hallucinogenic torture session. Tom Hanks’s performance as Col. Tom Parker might be the worst performance ever put on film by a top-tier actor in 100 years. Trying to think of a comparable disaster…maybe Sean Connery in Zardoz? (Do NOT google-image that unless you want to spend the next few days in a confused stupor.) Anyway, I align very closely with Peter’s friendly, but mostly unenthused reaction to Barbie. I have virtually no hostility toward it. Watching it was like eating a bag of Skittles…enjoyable but very little nourishment.

Peter: I’ve heard criticism (from some female Clifford family members even) that it’s shallow in its entry-level feminist messaging. Well, obviously. This is a film meant to appeal to every demographic, and it wouldn’t be 1/100th as much of the box office juggernaut it became if it said anything more radical than that eye-rolling America Ferrera monologue. 

Dad: Okay, so the first actor we mention is Ferrera? All right, I’m ready for this shit show!  

Peter: Really, none of my problems with Barbie lie within the messaging because I don’t think Greta Gerwig sincerely thinks she’s breaking any new ground. I respect Gerwig’s vision but it just doesn’t come together for me. 

Joe: I disagree a bit here. I do think she and Baumbach think they’re breaking new ground – not in the messaging in and of itself but in the Trojan Horse way that they smuggle the messaging into our consciousness.

Peter: Some stuff really works. Ryan Gosling. That’s what works. There’s been tons of discourse (which has gotten particularly heated after the nominations) on how much praise we should be giving Gosling for this very female-centric production. I’ll get to those “snubs” later but let me just say this: it would be a lie to say RG does not carry. He eats this role up and had me in stitches at points. I was not a fan of the monstrously popular soundtrack (because it mostly sounded like those “corporate playlists” consisting entirely of identical-sounding soulless pop music) but there were two musical moments I adored: the ridiculously fun “I’m Just Ken” sequence (which SHOULD win Best Original Song but will probably lose to that Billie Eilish snooze) and the campfire serenade of Matchbox Twenty’s “Push”. That scene had me howling in the theaters (Ryan should win Supporting Actor for that Rob Thomas impression alone) and brings the score up several decimals.

Dad: That scene was by far the hardest I laughed during a movie this year. 

Peter: It’s also one of the best directed scenes, enhanced by the slow zoom to reveal all the other Kens singing to their Barbies. Just perfect. Sounds like a lot of praise, right? Well, it’s pretty much all I’ve got. Oh wait, there’s also Michael Cera. Michael Cera is always awesome but he could’ve been utilized more. 

Dad: Cera is carving out a Woody Allen-like acting career – always playing himself no matter what the role is, yet it almost always works. I totally agree that he should have been used more. Couldn’t we have subtracted all of Simi Liu’s screen time and given it to MC? Liu and the craft of acting are strangers to each other. I have a theory he singlehandedly started Marvel’s demise.

Peter: Anyways, on to what doesn’t work. Margot Robbie is doing solid work but carries the burden of being the emotional core in a film that doesn’t have great emotional depth (Ryan got to be more tongue-in-cheek in his “emotional” scenes). I know I said I didn’t have a problem with the messaging but I might have some annoyance with the delivery. 

Dad: Nope, I’m on a different page here. I think Margot absolutely deserved a Best Actress nomination. I think people underestimate how insanely hard it is to strike the right balance with that performance – to make it fun, but not cartoonish; to make it adorable, but also meaningful; to make it just earnest enough, but not awkward. I’m going to make a wild reach and compare her performance to one of my favorites from the ’90s: Johnny Depp in Ed Wood.

Peter: Let’s talk about that America Ferrera speech. 

Dad: This is what I came for. I am deliriously excited for this.

Peter: It’s bad. Maybe a little more subtlety wouldn’t have hurt. Maybe also America Ferrera just isn’t that strong of an actress and her nomination was utterly ludicrous. 

Dad: And he delivers. Brilliant summation. In my memory, that speech was 41 minutes long. Super painful. And so derivative…it felt like outtakes from Sex and the City. 

Peter: The Mattel stuff is the biggest miss, though. It’s just all played so safe and somehow they made Will Ferrell so unfunny. None of the un-Goslingized (or Ceraized) humor landed. Also, the ending goes on forever (“yeah, yeah, yeah, you’ve driven the point home by now”). 

Dad: Yeah, the Mattel stuff was such a weird aspect of the movie, dragging it into the land of mediocrity. Also it felt bizarre to take potshots at Mattel, without which this iconic doll would not even exist. It was like, okay we can’t continue the motif of making “men” the enemy, so we need to shift it to this cartoon depiction of a male-driven corporate environment. It’s such a low-slung target – even if you do hit it successfully, who even gives a shit?

Peter: Now for those “snubs”: everyone from Ryan Gosling himself to Hillary Clinton has commented and I just want to say I know the feeling. It really does sting when your film makes a billion dollars at the Box Office and only receives 8 Oscar nominations. We can all relate to that. 

Dad: I have learned that if you’re going to come at Peter with Oscar bitching, don’t come without legitimate ammunition. 

Peter: Seriously though, the Director lineup is stacked and there would have been no room for Gerwig (though I wouldn’t have been upset if she got in). As for Actress, Bening is laughable but Margot would not be my replacement pick. Greta and Margot will be fine, especially as they were still nominated (for writing and producing). It’s also hilarious that some people think Margot Robbie is the kind of person to face obstacles in getting a Best Actress nomination. That’s all I’ll say about that.

Dad: Amen to Peter’s Bening point. It’s an insult to this terrific year of movies. I would put Robbie in that slot, just ahead of a performance that we will talk about in the Top 3 of this list.